Building a trusting relationship with your child helps them feel secure and increases their self esteem

How do you build a relationship with your child? 

Looking at this picture of my smiling daughter it is easy to think that everything was simple. But of course it was not! When scrolling through social media all the parents and children are smiling and seem to be having fun, but most parents struggle at some time with their child's behavior.   

 

I remember I was in the post office with my child and she was crying (really she was bawling). There was a line of people (of course), no one was talking, and everyone just looked at me and my child. I was determined to buy the stamps that I needed but felt judged and wished my child would be quiet. These moments are very hard..... we all want our children to be "good" but children need to express their emotions and sometimes they are sad, angry, and frustrated. Looking back I am sure no one was judging me in post office. Most adults are very supportive but it does not feel like that when you have a crying baby in public.

 

What I could have said to my daughter in the post office is, "Wow! You are mad today!", or "What is wrong?", or "We will not be long!" She would not have answered but I would have been acknowledging her feelings. I would have been listening to her.

 

Relationship building is listening to your child and acknowledging their feelings.

 

Before I went to the post office I could have thought "Is this a good time?- is it nap time for her.....is she too tired to go out?" Maybe I could have planned to go out at a different time. I would have been thinking of my child's needs and understanding she would probably have a melt down in the post office.

Relationship building is thinking of your child's needs and understanding your child's behavior.

 

Of course, sometimes we need to go out even when it is not a good time. If your child is older you could explain that you need to go to the shops but have an incentive. When you come home from errands you and your child can engage in your child's favorite activity. You could read a book at home together, play a game or watch TV.

 

Relationship building is trying to understand how your child feels and responding to her.

 

Need support? Get in touch! I would love to help.